Grumble Guts

This day is just crap.

I am so over work. I just want to up and leave. Here I am left alone to run an office, while pregnant with no support, having never had 'real' training with a more senior consultant. I come in everyday no matter how crap I feel, I continue no matter how overwhelming things get because I know they need me to be here. And I get a slap in the face. I am doing everything I can for this site and it's not enough. I'm feeling so alone and underappreciated. I perform roles that I never expected to and probably would never have if Tracey hadn't got sick, but in the end the fact is that I AM performing them. I tell you, nothing gives a worker a moral boost like being left to fend for themselves and then being given 'challenges' because things are down. Honsetly, my emotional stat is such that I have taken this very personally and I do believe it was meant to be just that.

20 days and counting.

I was already in a pretty sour mood before all this, too. I am so disappointed as we were meant to go tomorrow and pick carpet then we were going to go to the movies. It was to be 'My' Day for my birthday but our stupid neighbour decided to get our fences done on Monday and Tuesday - without consulting with us as to whether it suited us. So, instead of the nice, leisurely day spent together I had been dreaming of all week to get me through the long week James will be pulling down a fence and I will be painting the skirtings in our room. I really felt like I needed a relaxing day, too, after this week being so lonely and draining. I am so annoyed at her. There is never any courtesy on her part. If she wants James to go and see her about something she demands it. She'll stand on her verandah and call him if it's during the day and plague us with phone calls if it's night time. Never again will we live somewhere that is Strata title. I just really needed this weekend.

we plan to go next weekend now and that's good, at least we'll do it (as long as nothing else comes up), but I am so sad that after this long-ass week we'll be doing house things instead of having some time together. I'm feeling so negative and mad.

I'm tired of doing everything alone.