{52 Weeks} Week 1: The True Me

Recently, I have been reading many new blogs. One of which is Fat Mum Slim, I noticed she was participating in the 52 Week Project, which I had read about back when I was first learning about Project 365. It took me a little while to realise that all of the entries for her project were photos of her (baby brain..)

Since number 51 on my 101 in 1001 is to 'Take a photo of myself once a month for 6 months', I thought I would look into it, as participating in such a project would make it easy to complete. I did a search on Flickr and found the 52 Weeks group, which was inspired by the 365 Days group - where the challenge is to Take one self portrait each day for a year. I love the idea of doing it for a full year, but I know there is simply no way I would be able to do it currently, much like my failed attempt at Project 365...

I thought, with all the changes going on, that now would be the perfect time to start. I'll take a photo a week of myself throughout my pregnancy and then into my weight loss journey. Hopefully, by the time my 52 Weeks are up, I will be half the woman I currently am. I am looking at this as a journey of encouragement and motivation as well as a convenient way to cross off another achievement. Not to mention, a way to document myself for a year. I am rarely in photos, as I much prefer to be the one taking them as using myself as a subject doesn't excite and inspire me. It's hard to compete when I have such perfect subjects in my girls.

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So, this morning I made myself up a bit, which I haven't really done since joining in with Bloggers Without Makeup, before placing a stool in front of me and setting the camera timer. I took many snaps, most of which ended up deleted. I picked the photo I wanted to use and thought about some Photoshop editing I wanted to do - I figure I can also utilise this project to hone my photography and editing skills.

The girls and I went outside to do some painting while the sun was out and surprise, surprise I ended up with paint on my clothes, arms and cheek. I decided that my first week of this project should be a photo of me. As I am today. Me, as my life is now. I turned the camera on myself and did some more snaps before we went off to climb trees with the cat.

I was a little disappointed when I looked and saw I didn't have as much paint on me as I thought, but this is as true as it gets. White as a ghost, wrinkles under my eyes and paint on my cheeks.

Here's my photo shopped, posed first choice, just because!

Just Me

Today I join in a blogger movement started by a blog post by Jodie Ansted over at Mummy Mayhem. I happened upon the post about Bloggers Without Makeup, to read about the idea and see what lead Jane to think it up go to her original post here.

Now, I have to admit that while yesterday I felt inspired and loved the idea today I am much more nervous and unsure about participating. Truth be told, I have taken a peak at quite a few of the posts linked up to Jane's post today and I think all the bloggers are just so beautiful. Without their makeup and all. I had to stop reading, as I was beginning to think about not posting. Or taking another photo, trying to make the 'real' me look as good as possible. Which would defeat the purpose of joining in.

So, before I chicken out:

This is me, in all my grumpy morning glory. Spots, uneven skin tone, swollen eye and funny shaped nose. For this photo to have seen the light of day before now firstly, I would have put on some foundation, lip gloss and mascara. It would be taken on a different angle to illiminate double chins and to make my nose look like it's not lopsided. Then, there would have been many takes, to get the 'right' one. Then I might do some touch up in photoshop, depending on how I was feeling and what look I was going for.

Like so many others, I have never really felt pretty or beautiful and because of this I am rarely in front of the camera. And when you're always behind the lens, there tends to be so many family experiences where there's no 'proof' of me being there. In years to come looking at family photos there will be no record of me.

I want something different for my girls. I want them to love themselves and value themselves. How do I help them be well adjusted, confident women when I struggle myself? Something to work towards, I suppose.