Moans of a Pregnant Woman

I am really feeling crap today - in fact I have all weekend. I think it's perfectly evil for morning sickness to return and there are still little bits of my chest infection clinging ... so I just feel all-round yuck :( Sometimes, like when I feel like this I think we can never have another child! How could I possably cope with a toddler and a pregnancy and housework and work? Oh My Gosh, just the thought is too tiring!! But, then again I really don't want an only child :S and I don't want my first and second to be too far apart.

Anyway, no need to really be thinking about that right now when I am already overwhelmed with one on the way!!

Work dragged horribly today. We have hours and hours between customers and then a small influx and then more hours of no one. And I just felt bleh the whole time, which made it so much worse!

Speaking of Work... I am having issues. I'm already stressing about having to return when Bubba's six months old. I really don't want to, but I know I have to if we're going to cope financially. I hate the idea of sending my baby to child care and having someone else look after my little person. Even for one day. It's a hard thing to deal with now and I just know it's going to be a thousand time harder when I have the baby and am preparing to leave it. I've never had a problem with other people leaving their children with me, which maybe makes it weird that I am so against this, but maybe it's just that I figure I've been able to look after other's children why can't I do it for my own?? I just want to be able to be able to be a stay at home mum until my kids are older.

I guess I have to hope that I can find a night/weekend job for enough hours a week to get us by which means Bubba can stay home with James - I would feel so much calmer about that option, as long as I wasn't working every night and weekend, leaving James and I no time to have 'couple' time and no family time on Saturdays and Sundays. I don't want it to be Mummy and Baby during the day and Daddy and Baby during the night all the time, I want us to be together.

I wish there was another way. I keep searching for ideas. Keep looking into things that will never work and getting frustrated. Why don't I have a brilliant idea that will make us enough money for me to stay home a little longer? Where are my brilliant skills that can be utilised from home that would bring in extra cash to keep us afloat? Grr!!

I'm loving that we're going to have a Baby, but I wish that somehow the timing of everything else was better! If that even makes sense. How do other Stay At Home Mums do it?

Bubba will grow up too fast and be off to school ... I don't want to miss anything, especially in the early months/years.

That's my whinge for today.