It Sucks

Well, it does if you ask Ellie, anyway!

I suppose that's what happens when you spend the weekend with a bunch of teenage boys... but, if that's the worst thing she learnt this weekend then I guess we got off light! ;)

They're good boys, really and sooo good with Ellie.

***

Friday night James and I finally finished our Secret Project at 2am, lucky, as it was my cousin's 21st birthday pressie and we were off to her birthday weekend on Saturday.

It was a DVD of photos from birth to now. We scanned well over 600 photos, which I then edited and retouched (those that could be retouched without issue, anyway) while James created a wonderful intro (you know, the part before the DVD that you can't skip that tells you the rating and not to pirate as well as a production company intro). I made one main feature (almost an hour long) and 7 special features which we put on two DVDs James had 'lightscribed'. James made the DVD cover and I made the insert, which was Casey's card. It was well worth all the late nights to see the finished product and the joy it brought to Case.

The DVD cover as a slide in 'The Making Of' special feature

James, Ellie, Kahlei and I had a lovely lunch with my brother, Josh and his girlfriend, Tahlia before going on to the party. I was so excited that Josh was coming and really wanted to see him without everyone around. I really miss him and in recent years we haven't been able to spend too much time together, hopefully that might change. I would love my girls to be close to him.

So, we went to the party and had our family afternoon tea, where Casey opened our gift after she had cake and her dad made a rousing speach which had us all tearing up and had me practically balling when he was talking about the help my grandparents have been in raising their kids. He was saying how important that support was, I was sitting next to my mum who had Ellie on her lap and I just couldn't help it. I just felt so sad for myself, the girls and my family in that moment.

We all watched the DVD while Ellie sat with Case, patting her head, saying "Side" (outside). I love when we have these get togethers and catch up with all the cousins, there were 8 of the 12 boys + Case and I and Ellie was completely in her element!! As I said above, the boys are so good with her. They can go outside to kick a ball around, she will follow and not once did I hear a complaint about her being in the middle of their game, making things slow.

We went to nan's for dinner, all waiting impatiently for 7pm, as the jumping castle was arriving back out where the party was happening. I was so excited, I really wanted Ellie to have a go. She loves to jump and I thought she would be soooo into it. By the time we finished dinner, drove back out and waited for the jumping castle to be pumped up it was dark and Ellie was completely freaked out by the huge form looming before her in the night and even when James got on there with her she didn't like it. So, that was disappointing for me. Instead, she had a dance or two and had a wonderful evening staying up late, eating party food and being Aunty Casey's offsider. It's the first real party she's been to and considering she stayed up WELL past her bedtime she was such a good girl!

Mum came to get her and take her to nan's (where Kahlei was sleeping) and James, Josh, Tahlia and I went for a quick drink at Maccas before returning to the party. When we got back, everyone was in watching the DVD we'd made, so we decided to go on the jumping castle. Even me. I don't ever remember being on one before. I suppose I would have as a young child... But, as an older child and teenager I was much to awkward to do something like that. Pity. It was so FUN. It was an awesome workout, too. Even when I wasn't actually jumping, but somebody else was I could feel my abs working. I told James we basically HAD to have one in the backyard.

It was lovely to be out, having fun and know the girls were safe with mum.

Eventually, James and I called it a night and got back to nan's after 1am. Then we showed mum and nan the pics I had taken and got to bed at 2am. Woohoo. Rebels.

The next day we had a lovely morning together, mum made Case a cake and Ellie had some quality time with nan. We all went to Chinese for lunch. Ellie was fascinated with the huge fish in their aquarium, she loves fish. I don't really get it... Anyway. I had satay lamb, which, to quote Regan (Casey's younger brother) "didn't taste like satay, just tasted like hot".

We retired to nan's for a game of mafia for the kids, desert and a chat for the adults. I love, love, love mafia. So fun.

Then, it was time to go. Which sucks ;)

Now, I will leave you with this photo of James and I, as proof of our late night raging :)

Bless

I had to share this photo of my gorgeous girls. Today has been hectic, crazy, full of tears and tantrums but this precious moment will keep me smiling through the rest of the afternoon until James comes home to relieve me!

Home Sweet Home!

I am utterly exhausted and plan to stay at home for the rest of the week! This morning was playgroup, so we got ourselves sorted and out the door even though all I wanted to do, now that I am suffering terrible pregnancy related insomnia along with getting up to Ellie during the night and our early mornings, was sleep.

On the way out I twisted my ankle, I am so unco these days! We popped to the shop to get something to take along and Ellie kept trying to run off, making poor me hobble (ankle) and waddle (biiig belly) after her. Fun.

Ellie had a wonderful time a playgroup. She loves to push the dolls around in prams, throw then balls and play with the playdough. Today she also found the little kitchen they have, she had a great time closing the fridge door, throwing her head back and pretending to laugh.  She had a little boy try to push her off a bike but she stood her ground, which is good as I had worried about how she would cope with 'bossier' children. It's still hard for me to get to know the mum's there as I have come to realise that even the new mums are locals and everybody knows everybody from something, so they're much more interested in catching up with each other than getting to know me. I understand that, so I will just hope it gets better.

We had to leave early for a midwives appointment, Ellie wasn't thrilled about that!

Once home Ellie went to bed. I didn't have to go into her once, she cried a little but settled pretty quick. I went in and found her like this:

How cute is her hand on her baby? Unfortunately, this bliss didn't last long as our neighbour's veranda is prectically right next to her window and for some reason her visitors CAN NOT be quiet when they arrive! They stamp up her stairs, yelling out to her as they go and then she gets to the door and is just as noisy in greeting them. It annoys me beyond belief. What's wrong with knocking like a normal person? Seriously. I went in and climbed into bed with her to settle her and we had a little sleep - not a long one, though, as another visitor arrived and you only get one chance to re-settle Ellie for day sleeps! I wish we had been able to sleep longer because I am feeling like crap, but she's being good - having some arfternoon tea and watching the weird little bird that seems to think it lives on our veranda.

Well, I had best get something more done before Ellie's finished. 

Timing...

So, Ellie's still being funny about going to bed, we have to sit there otherwise she's up. Yesterday morning she got out of bed and came into us when she woke up for the very first time ever, it was cute. Then early this morning she woke for some reason and got out of bed - not so great. I took her back to bed three times before James suggested I just put her in bed with us. She wouldn't sleep there, though, she wriggled and did funny things with her arms while poking her feet into my belly. It appears she will only sleep in her bed all of a sudden... so at about 5am I took her into her room. I laid down with her until she went to sleep, then went back to bed. At 6.30 I felt a little hand patting me - I sure wish she would learn to go to Daddy's side of the bed!

I have to admit that this sudden clingyness and change in her sleeping habits is really starting to worry me. I thought we finally had it sorted and with not long to go until we have two children in that room I am starting to think it's going to be a whole lot harder and stressful if Ellie doesn't settle. I worry that Bubby will be a good sleeper but being in the same room as Ellie will make her difficult, too.

AND Ellie's already trying to climb into the cot! I can imagine it now, in the mornings she will stop coming into me and start sticking her little hands through the bars to wake the baby until she can figure out how to climb in there with her!

This whole thing is such bad timing. I am totally exhausted simply from being pregnant let alone chasing a toddler and getting up to her at all hours! I just want to sleep all day!!

She's currently watching The Wiggles as I have finally figured out how to unlock the child lock for the tray - she seems to be thinking she's been deprived for some time! Lol.

To end, here are some piccies of her and James

 

Not Long Now!

Just under three weeks, in fact and Ellie has turned into a complete little monster! It started yesterday when I took her to the park and she had her first highly embarrassing tantrum. She was happily climbing up and down the steps to the slippery-dip when a little boy decided to go on the baby swing. Suddenly, she was desperate to get on that very same swing. She kept trying to run in front of the swing, stamping her feet and crying as I tried to calm her down and tell her that it was the little boy's turn on the swing. She got very worked up, I even have a big scratch on my face from her swiping at me.

During the afternoon she spent a lot of time being cheeky, following me around and undoing anything I cleaned. Then it was bed time... Welllll, that was fun!

It started fine, she went down like she always does - without a peep. Not long after, however, she started crying. I was able to settle her and go back to the dishes for a moment before she woke again. I gave her some panadol, as I can feel two teeth up the top, they're very close to coming thru and settled her again. It didn't last long. I don't even know how many times I had to go in before she did the thing I have been dreading since putting her in her bed. Yup, she got up. Over and over and over again! Eventually, James got her settled and she slept well after that - until 4.30am, at least. She could not be settled, so I took her into bed with us but she couldn't seem to get comfortable, she wanted to sleep but just kept moving and poking me. Eventually, I took her into her room, we laid on her bed and she finally had a little sleep before we had to get up.

This morning, she seemed okay, her normal happy self. We went to the shop for milk and bread so that we would be able to have brekky in the morning and then came home to play in the backyard. By nap time she was exhausted so I popped her in bed - again not a peep... But not too long after she was crying and a moment later she was in the kitchen beside me. We played the 'back to bed' game for half an hour before James called (I sent him an SOS sms) and suggested I maybe get her up for half an hour. I did, and she just lay on the couch the whole time so I thought 'Great! She'll go down nice and easy now.' Mmm hmm. An hour later I finally gave up and sat by the bed, looking the other way and she fell asleep. I really didn't want to do that because she so easily decides that she wants something all the time once we've done it once, but I figure sometimes you've just gotta do whatever it takes. The thing that frustrates me the most is that I would lie her down and she would close her eyes because she was so so tired but once I started to leave she was practically off the bed before I got out the door! I just hope she has a decent sleep now that she's finally settled.

I'm worried and the timing is so bad! I am stressing about bringing a newborn home when she's being so difficult. I hope it's just a phase, but as a mother I wonder if her behaviour has been brought on by something I have done. Some classic Mother's Guilt to add to every day life.

I, myself, am not sleeping well. I'm at the stage where I am too uncomfortable to get a decent sleep and the heat and the aches, pains, constant headaches... Argh.

On a brigher note James gave me an early Christmas pressie yesterday - a new camera!! We had decided to get one before Bubby's birth as we didn't want to get to the day and have my camera conk out. This new one is tiny and oh-so-sexy! It has so many cool features and I have loved playing with it!!

Anyway, I had best go have a rest before Ellie wakes up!

 

To Grandmother's House We Go

Yesterday we went to see James's mum's new house for the first time since she's moved in. Ellie had a great time exploring the new house, chasing the cat Grandma is looking after, picking flowers and playing with the dogs. She loves Scraps but he tends to get in her face a whole lot so she prefers to play with Fiddles or throw the ball for Little Dog. She wants to be the one in their face, not the other way around, lol.

I spent the afternoon with pains in my belly and feeling quite ill. The past few days have been like that. All of a sudden I will feel like I am going to throw up. Bubby has dropped in the last few days and my hips are pretty much about to fall off. James's mum kept comenting on how HUGE my belly is and asked if I'm sure I'm not having twins. I'm sure. Well, you know... I have had 4 scans, I would assume someone would have caught on if there was twins in there.

I am pretty over being pregnant, I am exhausted, extremely sore and sick feeling. I can't wait for Bubby to be here! Okay, I can as we're not quite ready but I am very impatient to meet her and will be very glad to have my body back! 2009 is going to be a pregnancy free year! Give my poor body a break and just enjoy my girls :)

Well, I had best go - Ellie and I have been washing all Bubby's clothes, sheets and wraps, now we have to make her cot and put everything else away.

Seriously...

...Would the person who swapped my gorgeous little girl for the monster toddler currently residing in our home please return her IMMEDIATELY for a full exchange!

Oh. My. Gosh. Ellie is on some kind of freaky-hypo-tantrum high today! She is literally into everything and doing anything she knows she's not allowed to. I am exhausted and the day's barely half over! Thank goodness she's having a sleep right now so I can sit down, give my poor hips and back a rest.

Everything is such a drama. Just before I put her to bed I laid her on the change table for a new nappy, she looked at me like I was committing a crime and said "Ouch" in the whingiest voice I have ever heard. Ouch is her responce to most things if she doesn't want to be doing them, lol. This morning she was playing with a stamp I have, so I stamped her hand with it - she cried. I washed the stamp off - she cried. I really can't win today. Everything is met by her stamping her foot, plonking her bottom on the ground and making an offended "oh" sound or a good cry.

James mentioned that she might be worried about our impending arrival - which is probably very true. She is probably picking up on how we're feeling - especially me since she's with me allllll day and as the date approaches I am feeling more nervous, excited, scared, unprepared...

Today has made me pretty certain Ellie will be one of those toddlers who gets upto mischief as soon as I am feeding Bubby - at least for the first little while. I am thinking of organising a special box to only get out when it's feedng time with things in it to keep her entertained. I don't know what to put in it yet, though. I am also thinking I will need to have a cooking afternoon once a week or so to prepare snacks to have on hand or her so she can eat with Bubby.

27 and a half days until she's here... wow. I can't wait but I am worried about how I will handle two under two right now (with the way Ellie's been playing up). I'm also nervous about being ready. I still haven't got most of the things on my hospital bag list, exept some undies - I can't just prance around in my granny undies if it all happens sooner than expected, though, can I? There's a mental image for you all ;)

I just can't believe Bubby's arrival is so close. I am thankful that it is because I am so sore this time around. I told James yesterday that I figure Bubby is practically an elephant.. lol.

I'd best go get something done. 

  

Update

I've been a little bit slack with updating of late...

Last Sunday James and I took Ellie to the beach but it wasn't nice so we took her to a park we hadn't been to before. Ellie was all dressed in blue (her swimmers are blue) and some people came with three kids and each one of them asked us about 'him'. Seriously, she didn't look like a boy and the way they looked at us when we said she was a girl made me feel like dressing my daughter in blue is illegal!!

Sunday night Mum arrived for a visit :)

Monday Ellie, Mum and I went to the 'Bay for some shopping - we all got new shoes!

The shoes Nanna bought Ellie

Ellie in the boot while we put our shopping away

Tuesday we had some errands to run before taking Ellie to the park. 

Ellie with a babychino

Ellie with Nanna's notepad and pen

I think she looks like a little Journalist!

Now, you tell me, is blue really such a crime on a little girl??

Wednesday we went to Playgroup. Yes, you read that correctly. I went to Playgroup. It's only taken me 14 and a half months... Ellie loved all the toys and showed interest in some of the children there. Mostly she just liked the toys, especially the balls and babies. I'm not sure what I thought of the group, honeslty. It's hard coming from working in a Playgroup environment and then going to one, I spent alot of time thinking about the differences, what we wouldn't have done at SPLASH, what I would change, lol. I will take her back, though. At least until Bubby is born -  3 or 4 weeks of it wont kill me! Once Bubby's here I will play it by ear as to whether we'll pick it back up.

After that I had a midwives appointment and I FINALLY had a midwife I knew! I was so relieved. It seems Bubby is now head down, she's measuring perfect and had a nice strong heartbeat. Everything's looking good :)

Once home Ellie went straight to bed and Mum and I had a drink before she had to go. It was so nice to have her here, Ellie loved spending time with her. If only she would stop being SO STUBBORN! Lol. But seriously, I would love if she were closer. I hate how hard it is to get to see each other!

Today Ellie and I have been to the park again and she's now having a lovely sleep - the longest she has had all week. I am having a rest, my hips and lower back are extremely painful. I had aches and pains with Ellie but nothing like this. When I get down to hug Ellie before she goes to sleep my hips often lock up and cause me immense pain - I guess I'm lucky we've only got 4 weeks to go.

That's right 4 WEEKS TO GO! Oh My Gosh! At the midwives the other day we talked about what time people are generally booked in to have their c-sections. Sounds like I will most probably be booked for first thing in the morning - 8 or 9 and have to go in at 6am. If there's someone in labour and has to have an emergency c-section then I would be pushed back, understandably. There's all these preparations that we have to go through this time around which are making me a bit nervous now...

Gotta go, Ellie's awake!

Edit: I just want to share the new things Ellie is saying. "Dog" and "Clowse da daw" (close the door) - we have said that to her alot! Lol. I told James yesterday that she was saying close the door and he looked at me like I was nuts and then he heard her say it - so cute.

Just Some Pics

My Little Dare Devil!



She LOVES standing on her bike, she's crazy. Do you like the sticker on face look?



Chilling

Worn out after a trip to the Doctor on Friday

Stealth Mode Ellie

Peek-a-boo through the Jasmine

26 Weeks, 5 Days

There are 92 days until my due date on December 13, 2008.
There are 84 days until my C-Section on December 4, 2008.
I am 188 days pregnant. 
I am 6.2 months pregnant. 
I am in my 7th month of pregnancy. 
My 1st trimester: March 08, 2008 to June 06, 2008. (0 - 12 weeks) 
My 2nd trimester: June 07, 2008 to September 19, 2008. (13 - 27 weeks) 
My 3rd trimester: September 20, 2008 to December 13, 2008. (28 - 40 weeks)

Today I have been having lots of painful Braxton Hicks. Joy. I feel like they didn't start this early with Ellie but James seems to think they did. All I know is that I am not enjoying them!

Ellie's first biscuit

Yesterday I gave Ellie her first arrowroot biscuit, I remember Ethan always sucking on one so I kind of expected her to suck on it for ages and then leave a big gooey mess on the kitchen floor. However, she was so into it, she simply chomped into it and ate it all!!


Doesn't she look sooooooooo tired?? She is still sleeping really badly, she goes back to bed really well, which is a relief... I just wish I could figure out how to make her sleep longer and better for both of our sakes!!

She's in love, lol.

I will soon be seeing my Mum and Dad, I don't know if they will be able to make it for the Easter long weekend, but secretly that's what I am hoping for. I want us all to take Ellie to the animal park they first went to on their honeymoon, I think that would be kinda sweet. I am so so excited. I really miss my family and I hate that I can't see Mum and Dad very often. Sometimes I would like to hop in the car and just go for a little drive to see them, lol (yeah, not very practical, really). Or even a drive to one of the playgroups I used to work at ... but my car. Grr. I don't trust it to get me where I want to go, I don't trust it to start once I get somewhere and have to turn off the engine. It's really very frustrating. I don't even like to go into Batemans Bay for the day without James because it's all too stressful with Ellie!! I sometimes can feel somewhat isolated when James is at work and I can't go where I want to.  James and I are doing some dreaming and looking at cars, unfortunately we're unable to buy one at the moment, but we're looking at what's around. Once we're pregnant we will need to think more seriously about it and see what we can do because my car really isn't a practical family car.

Tonight we've looked at some hot cars. This one isn't one we could afford, but it's smokin'! Another we can't really afford, but it doesn't hurt to look... What we are seriously looking at is a Berlina, not the one I just liked too though, that's just one we like. This one is probably more like what we will go for.

Sydney Times

We had a lovely time in Sydney. Ellie loved it as every morning she and I would go out and walk along Coogee beach before going and sitting on some grass to have lunch and watch the people pass. She was intrigued by the people walking their dogs, the children and especially by those walking past who had accents. Every where we went there were groups of mothers meeting and I would walk along thinking how I would like to move somewhere like that. Somewhere that had a nice walk for Ellie and I to do everyday. Somewhere that I might be able to meet and enjoy the company of other mothers. But, we're not going anywhere for a long time and I'm not going to continue my morning walks because I don't feel comfortable walking in my neighbourhood, I am not sure why, it's just how it is.

This is the first night, Wednesday. Ellie is finally big enough to wear her piglet suit that we've had forever and I think she looks so gorgeous in it. So does James, he told her she had to wear it forever, lol.

She really liked being away, even in the dingy room we got, it was somewhat like a dungeon on the bottom floor with a tiny bathroom and room for a king size bed with a tiny amount of space around it.

Sometimes I find it funny how social Ellie is. She absolutely shines when strangers start telling her she's a gorgeous girl. I can see her little mind wondering why some people don't react to her (though, there aren't many of them). At these times I wonder if she gets sick of just being with me so much, though if she does, she doesn't show it or maybe that's why she soaks up all the attention of different people; because it's not mum!!  I hope she stays like this, able to win over the crowds and function well with people and doesn't become a social retard like her mother :) But, I guess her social development is, in part, up to me. So, I just have to find a playgroup or some other mums to socialise with to model to Ellie... I do keep talking about it and I will get around to it, mostly because I feel it's important for her.

I really can't sit still, Mum.

Ellie and I hanging out, waiting for Daddy to get home on Thursday night so we could go out, get some dinner and eat near the beach. I think getting away and doing something different to what we do every day was good for us, especially for me after the past few weeks.

Once James got back, we headed out to get some dinner and while we were eating an ambulance came with it's lights on and drove down to the beach, we couldn't see what was going on but it was intriguing. People around weren't even really acknowledging the presence, so I guess it's a regular thing around there.

I love these pictures of James and Ellie, a precious moment between them after he arrives back from work :)

At lunch on Friday Ellie made a new friend; a  seagull that kept hanging around. She really, really, really just wanted to chase it. It would fly off to where ever people were throwing food and then it would come back, often it would come real close to us, too. I don't know why, we only had baby food and we weren't sharing!!

There were so many things for her to look at, she just couldn't sit still. Between each mouthful of food she would turn around, crawl away, stand up to see behind me. She's a real sticky beak!


















 

On Friday afternoon, when James had finished training we went off to visit Bondi Beach because we love watching the show on Tuesday nights and we'd not been before. It took us awhile as we didn't really know where we were going and the traffic was crazy! I was disappointed that the only lifeguard we saw was sleeping on a 4 wheeler! No action what so ever and the crowd was really very small. Still, I am glad we went, it's another experience.

Bondi from afar

Saturday morning we made our way to one of our favourite places, Ikea, for Ellie's first trip there. It was really very busy and she was so good considering she got so tired but couldn't sleep because there was so much noise and so much for her to look at.

It wasn't long after we left, however, that she was peacefully sleeping. Ikea exhaustion knocks you out :)